Some musings on Instincts

I wrote this in September 2011

I studied Psychology at Uni and we learnt about the flight or fight theory. Basically when confronted with a hostile situation or an attack, to survive you would either take flight (i.e. run for your life) or fight (i.e. defend yourself and fight the attack). I asked the question what determines which we would do? Some animals are prone to one or the other. Humans however, I was told would react out of instinct.
Instinct is something I have been thinking about a lot recently.  The dictionary definition is:  An inborn pattern of activity or tendency to action common to a given biological species; a natural or innate impulse, inclination, or tendency; natural intuitive power.

Twelve months ago I would have told you I have no maternal instincts. In fact it was around 12 months ago to the day that my work colleague was 4 months pregnant and we were talking about babies and children and I actually said, “I don’t have a maternal bone in my body”. I had no idea that when I said that I was about a week or maybe 2 weeks pregnant myself. I honestly had no maternal instincts.  Twelve months on, with a 3 month old baby, a whole new world has opened up to me. A world I never knew....I am a mother and somehow, I now have maternal instincts. I am in tune with my baby and although I am still learning, and being a parent is tough, and a lot more than just instinctual....there’s something inside me that just knows what my baby needs. It’s very difficult to explain – it’s something deep inside that tells me that my baby needs cuddling to stop that crying; or that the crying is something more than hunger/tiredness; or that there’s a possible danger here for baby. It started before baby was born – it started as soon as I knew that God had breathed life and blessed us with our little miracle. From making sure nothing or no one got too close to my “bump” to getting checked out when there hadn’t been a kick for a while.
I am also realising that my 3 month old has instincts. She has a suckling instinct, she instinctively knew what to do when the midwives put her on me just minutes after her being born – she knew a breast was food! She recognises me and daddy now, but she doesn’t know who we are. Yet when she’s not feeling too well or is tired she just instinctively knows its mummy’s arms she needs. No one taught her – like no one taught me....no one dropped a whole load of instinct on me one day. They were always there and when I needed them there they were. You know what, I’m hurtling towards the big 3-0 (argghhh!) but even at nearly 30years old, with a home, job, husband, sometimes when I’m feeling unwell, I still want my mum. What’s that all about? Instinctively I know my mum would look after me, and would stroke my head and make me feel better.

Another instinct within us is the instinct many people deny or dismiss. When our backs are against the wall, when there’s no hope, when all seems lost, so many people instinctively call out to their Creator, God. How many times do people who never go to church, never pray or read the Bible, suddenly pray to God in their hour of need? So-called atheists have even done it.  Why? Because there’s an instinct within us to reach out to the One Who we know can help us. Just like my 3month old baby knows when she’s in someone else’s arms not mummy’s or daddy’s arms (even when she’s not facing that person), instinct takes over and that innate sense of needing our parent, or needing our Father God, comes to the surface.  It’s God Who has given us such instincts. The mothering instinct was always in me because God knew I would become a mum. And we’re all His children, so we all have an innate gravitation towards God when we need Him. How beautiful.