Well, the most amazing day of my life has to be the day my gorgeous little girl, Georgia Grace was born.
But I'm going to start a little earlier and first of all recount my BFP (that's a Big Fat Positive pregnancy test).
H & I were planning a trip to Paris in the October. It had been planned for ages as it was my mum's 50th and she and dad were going on the Orient Express from London to Venice. We were originally going to go on the OE with them and get off at Paris. But for various reasons, our plans changed and we were going through the tunnel on the Eurostar. So we had had this planned for well over a year.
I was so excited about going to the capital city of romance and culture. I spent the summer researching all the tourist spots and where we definitely wanted to go. I had put on a bit of weight since we got married, so I wanted to loose it, and wanted to look good for going to Paris so I started going on the treadmill for 30 mins each night after work. I had a bit of a love-hate relationship with the treadmill: I hated the thought of going on, but once I was on, I really enjoyed it.
As the trip was looming I decided I definitely didn't want a period whilst I was in Paris, so thought I'd switch to the pill. We definitely didn't want to get pregnant either. I have to admit, I never really wanted children. I have never felt maternal and always felt rather awkward around other people's children. I don't know what to say to them or how to relate to them.
Anyway, it was September, and I was a bit late. I've never been regular really so it wasn't a big deal. Although, lately I had been a little more regular in my cycle. I had been feeling a little tired at work and thought I might have a virus. As the days ticked by, I bought a pregnancy test just out of curiosity. I thought it was pretty impossible to be pregnant but I just wanted to put my mind at ease. So I bought one, and did the test and it was negative.
Still the days ticked on and there was no visit from the terrible Aunt Flow. H and I joked about it (the fact that I was late) but I assured him I wasn't pregnant. I'd done the test.
Anyway, one Wednesday morning (13th October 2010 to be exact), I had this nagging feeling and there was two testers in the pregnancy test I'd bought, so I did the other test before I went to work, but after H had left. Well, you guessed it, it was positive!
There was part of me, deep deep down, that kind of knew. I don't know how and it's difficult to describe. But there was part of me that was pretty darn shocked. Especially as the other test was negative. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I needed to process this information, I needed to tell someone. But I couldn't tell H over the phone. Plus, I had to get to work. And I had to put myself on to a train for a team meeting in Manchester. Good grief, how would I concentrate? Well, I was definitely not going to Manchester today. I just couldn't. I made my excuses that I needed to see the doctor. And I did...I got myself and appointment that day. It was a proper waste of time though. I only went because I wasn't sure what happened next. I assumed they'd do another test, then perhaps book me a scan and a midwife appointment. But she took my utter astonished face and demeanour to conclude that I might not want to proceed with the pregnancy. But for all my previous protestations about not wanting a child, I was actually happy. No scratch that, I was excited, and very happy! And petrified.
So after my useless Dr's appointment, I went back to the office. Yay. I had to tell my colleagues that I had a virus. The working day finally ended and I went home and started doing something very mundane like folding and putting away some clean washing. H came in and came up to me in the bedroom. I told him that for my mum's birthday meal next week, I would drive (we'd said previously he would drive so I could have a drink). He said "no love, I'll drive, you have a drink". I then said I couldn't drink.....and he got the idea.
He was of course, over the moon and from that point on, I became more and more excited and happy and ecstatic.
It's strange how quickly I got used to the idea of being pregnant. I very quickly became very protective of my tummy. When we were in Paris, we learnt that Parisians have little concept of personal space. I spent the whole time protecting my tummy from stray elbows/bags etc. And I felt so sick whilst I was there. I caught a cold too whilst there as the Parisians also seem to be very dirty and don't cover their mouths when coughing/sneezing. I felt rough. The cold lasted a while and turned into a really bad cough which I had until January!!! I wasn't able to really take any medication with being pregnant so it was a rough few months.
Looking back now, I do wish I'd kept a pregnancy journal as it was such a special time. I got weekly emails from various sources which told me what to expect that coming week and how my little pip was growing and developing. It was very exciting. I actually loved my bump, although it was very bizarre having this growing tummy. I didn't enjoy the constant waking in the night to have a wee, and the indigestion. It was difficult to get comfy so I bought a 6ft pillow to curl around me and the bump which took up most of the bed!
The last 2 months were actually the worst. We had a warm spell in May and it was very uncomfy. I was hot anyway, and I kept getting very hot at work and I was counting the days to my maternity leave as I was tired. The bump was heavy! My lower back hurt, and I have pelvic pain too. I also desperately wanted to meet the baby. Not knowing whether it was a boy or girl was starting to get to me. I was sort of glad we hadn't found out at the 20 week scan, but now, I felt like I'd been pregnant forever. I'd got to the stage where I could barely remember what it was like to be able to cut my toenails (or see my toenails!), and put my socks on. It's amazingly difficult to do simple tasks. Cleaning through the house took all day, whereas I could usually have everything done in a morning. Oh, and the cleaning...I wanted to clean EVERYTHING. I bleached the utility room one day - walls and everything. They call it the nesting instinct and wow, it was uncontrollable. We did have a huge period of time where I couldn't do anything as we had some leaks and had to have the ceiling in the hall replaced and ended up having the lounge redecorated and new carpets. It was a nightmare because we basically had to live in the kitchen and bedroom for weeks.
The strangest thing though was feeling her move and kick. As she got bigger, you could see her moving around which was freaky! She was so active. You could see the kicks just looking at my tummy. I didn't have any cravings really but I did have a craving to smell certain smells. It was new car smell, car mats and turps. Strange things but it was overwhelming. It was like an addiction and I do admit, I bought a set of new car mats and just sat and sniffed them each evening. I couldn't help it....the midwife said it was perfectly normal. Never ever in my life had I had such a craving. It was like a drug: I was addicted. It took months and months after the birth for the craving to subside. I didn't sniff car mats once she arrived however, because I was too busy. But I would have done if I could. And if I'm passing the car section in the supermarket, I can't resist a quick sniff even now! I was slightly worried that my baby was going to have an addiction to car mats, but I'm happy to say she's never asked for one to have a sniff of!
So that's my BFP and some of my pregnancy.
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