In The Valley

The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me],

I shall not want.

He lets me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still and quiet waters.

He refreshes and restores my soul (life);

He leads me in the paths of righteousness

for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the [sunless] valley of the shadow of death, 

I fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me.

~ Psalm 23 v 1-4

The last few months, I've been walking through my own "valley of the shadow" -  not of death, thank goodness, but it's been a dark and very unpleasant valley, full of the echoes and the memories of the past. With a few other things thrown into the mix at the same time, it's been an unpleasant season in my life.
The definition of a valley is that it is is a "hollow or depression" of the earth, bounded by hills or mountains. As such, valleys are sometimes dark, the light being blocked out by the hills. Dark it has been. It's felt a lonely time, when I've questioned the very things that make me who I am. I've come to the end of myself, and seen only the darkness of the valley and wondered if there was any point carrying on this journey. And as clichéd as that is, life is a journey. It's an over-used phrase bandied about by too many reality/talent tv show contestants, that has become somewhat of a grating phrase on me. Even so, we are on a journey, and we do move through different phases in life, whether we want to or not and sometimes, we find ourselves in a valley of some kind. We all want to avoid the valley, we don't want to be in the dark and the shadows, where perhaps we can see other people up on the high hills, enjoying the bright sun and the wind in their hair, having fun. 
I may not be out of my valley, I can however see the end, the bright and large open spaces ahead. I need my Shepherd to guide me though, as I can't do it on my own. If I look to my Shepherd, I will be led to the still restful waters and the fresh pastures. I will be refreshed in the valley and ready for whatever He leads me to next. Wherever I go, whatever I face, no matter how awful, there is nothing that our Shepherd can't do. He is expert in the impossible, He is the ultimate Healer and Protector and He longs to guide us and comfort us. 

As the psalmist is walking through the valley, he's likening himself to a sheep. Vulnerable, defenceless and at the mercy of the elements and the predators around him.  But there are some other interesting characteristics about valleys. You will frequently find a river or stream in the valley, and the land surrounding that river or stream is often very fertile. Also, the stream or river will carry away the debris that falls or erodes from the valley walls, so although winds and storms may wash stones and rocks down into the valley, they get swept away by the water, keeping paths clear of large obstacles. The valley, although a dangerous one, is serene in this psalm. There are green pastures, and still and restful waters. Actually in the valley, you're sheltered from the strong winds.  There are clearly dangers, as sheep are prey to all sorts of animals such as bears, mountain lions, foxes, wild dogs to name a few. But when you know someone is shepherding you, guiding you, protecting you, then you can enjoy the valley and even find beauty in it.

The story of my valley experience doesn't define me, I am a survivor and I can pass through the valley, knowing that I can get to the open plains beyond, and I am thankful that along the way, there have been a few amazing people helping me through. 

There have been times when my soul hasn't felt anything like "refreshed", it has been brought down to the low depths of the valley floor, and I have completely lost my mind in the turmoil. There have been times I've called out to God, and despaired when heaven seemed eerily silent. I have had times when I couldn't even pray, the words wouldn't come, my heart felt too heavy, my faith depleted. It has felt like all the storms of life have conspired in treachery against me. The rocks of the valley sides haven't been washing away into the river for me, they've been tumbling down around me as I have sojourned this season in the valley.  After yet another blow, feeling in tatters and broken, I asked my daughter to pray for me a few months ago about something. I couldn't even summon up the energy or faith to pray myself. Then a couple of weeks ago, the answer to her prayer was manifest. It felt like a buzz of electric through my floundering heart. I have had some glimpses of God's goodness throughout this journey. I have, however, had my head down too much. I have been watching my step, too cautious to look outwards or upwards to see the beauty of the areas of green pasture, and the restful waters, the light and love that comes from my Shepherd. Just because we walk through the tough places in life, He never leaves us. He's always asking us gently to look upwards, see His arms around us, to see the beauty in His people around us, to see that the valley's not ideal, but even in the dark cold valley, He can lead us to the places that are restful, and we can lean on Him for our comfort and consolation.